Composing A Life

February Purge DeClutter The February purge continues here at my house.

I’ve long since stopped trying to understand why some things have been saved for as long as they have. Regardless, if it doesn’t strum the heart strings in February 2013, out it goes.

I’ve found old photos which have since been posted on Facebook and are getting some good laughs; there are letters from assorted family members, some poignant and heartfelt while others reflect someone just being silly. Much of this is still save-worthy.

Stashed in a box alongside these mementos was a Xeroxed copy of the introduction to Composing A Life, a book written by Mary Catherine Bateson, daughter of anthropologist Margaret Mead.

The book was published in 2001, and I have no recollection of how/why the copy of the introduction came to me, or for what purpose it was saved. But on this – another– snowy Sunday I sat with a cup of coffee and recognized the value of these 11 pages.

The introduction, beautifully written, states the author’s essential observation: the world no longer supports a single, monolithic vision for one’s life. Improvements in health and longevity, technology, economics, and changes in society have forced us move past  “Plan A” and require us to now be able to perceive—and then create — a Plan B, C, D, and beyond.

How do we learn “improvised living,” being flexible in the face of the certainty of change, learning to become creative with “what is” as we cobble together a life of meaning and purpose? Are we even capable of it?  Bateson writes:

            All too often, men and women are like battered wives or abused children. We hold on to the continuity we have, however profoundly it is flawed. If change were less frightening, if the risks did not seen so great, far more could be lived.

           …when you watch people damaged by their dependence on continuity, you wonder about the nature of commitment, about the need for a new and more fluid way to imagine the future.graspinghand

That phrase damaged by their dependence on continuity really struck me. There is an essential “truth for our times” if I ever heard one! And the words are even more relevant today, twelve years after they were originally published.

The world we have invented now forces our hand. We’ve done this to ourselves, via science, technology  and social change, have called it “progress,” and yet we buck at the notion that there is no longer ONE correct path for our life!

It isn’t even about doing it efficiently and gracefully, but about being able to move past the familiar, to improvise rather than play the notes correctly, to think abstractly rather than recite from rote memory, to communicate spontaneously rather than have the “correct answer.”

Like it or not, IMPROV is the name of the game in the future that we’ve accidentally designed for ourselves, so we’d all better get on board.

I know I’m going to be musing on the ways I am damaged by my dependence on continuity.

How about you?

Jeanne Fiorini TarotWorks http://www.tarotworks.comJeanne Fiorini is a self-employed Tarot-reading, football-watching, yard sale-ing neat freak comedian who’s just trying to make sense of things. 
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February Purge

IMG_0735This is the time of year when people who live in Maine get antsy.
Enough with being indoors for days on end! Enough with listening to the furnace run incessantly! Enough with eating way too may carbs just for the fun of it!

It’s not just me; I see people around me cleaning out and clearing up their living spaces. Out of boredom, as a result of cabin fever, or simply a matter of recognizing that “it’s time,” the stuff is hitting the curb.

To the casual observer, my home is, as you’d expect, organized and tidy. (It may not be clean, but it’s neat.)  But even in this space there is so much around me that I really don’t need.

And to my surprise, once I started culling, there is so much that I no longer want.

Things change. We all change all the time, whether we like to acknowledge it or not. (For a more thorough look at the notion of change, click here to visit a past blog on the topic.)  Things which used to pull on our heart-strings can loosen their grip pretty quickly if we’re not attentive to the holding on.

The February purge at my house started with needing some extra cash to pay taxes come April. Ring the bell for Round One: Gather items for resale at a local consignment shop. This pile included pottery, framed prints, objects d’art, and jewelry. If all the items sold for their full price during the first month of consignment –-which they won’t – I’ll make $350.

Now I’ve got some momentum going … ring the bell for Round Two: Clear out old photos.MP900384902

This is a tough one for many of us. It pangs me to toss holiday-card photos of friends and family, cramming those cherubic  faces alongside the coffee grounds and used tissues. Was I ready to part with images of my daughter at age 6 on her new bike, or me in my 80’s outfits and hairdo visiting New York City?

Out, out, out! By the time I was done with Round Two, a shoe box full of past experiences and most of the pages from my wedding album were in the trash. I did save a few photos of grandparents and family, the kind of thing my “future heirs” might enjoy. But do they really want to deal with photos of rocks taken in Colorado circa 1992?

Now I’m seriously on a tear. Scanning the house like a CIA operative….what else can be jettisoned?? Ring the bell for Round Three: Cast off old relationship mojo.

Honestly, this one was not difficult, but was more a case of paying attention to what had just “hung around” long after relationships ended. .. my wedding dress included.

I’m not sure why I was keeping it; there was no sentimental attachment to a marriage that ended over 20 years ago. It’s not as though I wanted my daughter to wear it – she would be horrified. The truth was, I still thought it was pretty. I still liked it, the covered buttons and heavy lace and its flowing simplicity.

Out.

Once recognized as a piece of a past with which I was finished—out. No pangs.

I had to purchase a new bedroom clock since the one I’d been using was remains of a 10-years- gone love affair. For years I’d been sleeping next to “old lover” time. It worked well and fit with my décor but lordy what a bad vibe!!

Sold my bentwood rocker on Craig’s list, a much-loved chair received as a gift on my first-year wedding anniversary, at which time I remember saying, spontaneously, “”I’ll rock our grandchildren in it.”

Yard Sale Documentation Project Which I have, and now can let it go; the chair has done its job, served its purpose in my life. Do I have to tell you that the woman who bought the rocker had been looking for this exact piece of furniture for months and was thrilled to now own it?

Whether you do it out of boredom, for extra cash, to release yourself (and others) from past relationships, to cleanse the energy in your home, to create more physical space for your life as it is NOW, clearing out is GOOD MOJO.

Make room for what is important to the YOU you are today; it is time and energy invested in the YOU you are becoming.

 

Jeanne Fiorini TarotWorks http://www.tarotworks.comJeanne Fiorini offers easy ways to simplify and clarify your life.
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Psychic Molasses

My mom called today from upstate New York, wondering how we were making out with the “blizzard of the decade.”

While it hasn’t yet shifted into high gear, we are having snow here in Portland Maine and much of the normal commerce and activity has ground to a halt in anticipation of the storm.

And so I’m baking.

DSC00814Today it will be French bread, but I was telling my mom how, earlier in the week, my 2-year old granddaughter Vera and I had our first baking experience together.

Vera enjoys a project and really likes to help; last week she “helped” me shovel the driveway, a task she tackled with earnest sincerity.

I’d had a hankering for molasses cookies for weeks. Normally a batch of chocolate chip cookies will soothe my need for a baked good, but not this time; it had to be molasses.

Someone might say that my body was needing the iron which molasses provides. Someone else might say “that’s what happens on cold winter days, you need some home-baked goodness.” But after my conversation with my mom today, it’s clear something else was afoot.

After I relayed to my mom the details of our little baking project this week, and my mom launches into this:

“Well, that’s very interesting that you baked molasses cookies. All week I’ve been thinking about them, and a few nights ago I even had a dream about them. I was at the farmhouse (in upstate NY where my mom grew up) and had baked a batch for (my) Grandmother and (my) Aunt Roseann. They were really good and I (my mom) was remembering how Aunt Marie (my grandmother’s sister) made the best ones, chewy and soft but not under-cooked. As we were eating them we all said, “Aunt Marie would be proud.”

I don’t pretend to know what it means. All I know is that it is very comforting to feel connected to the women in my family by means of a baked good, and to share such a simple pleasure with my own granddaughter.

I”m glad I listened to the voice of intuition. Without it, this whole experience dissipates into molecules of potentiality. But because I did listen and followed the call, a molasses cookie will never again be just a cookie.

It is a bridge, a connection to people unseen and yet heard. It’s love.

Jeanne Fiorini TarotWorks http://www.tarotworks.com

Jeanne Fiorini now has reason to enjoy baked goods even more.

When not baking, she’s doing Tarot http://www.tarotworks.com or being neat http://shesneat.com

Gluten-Free Chocolate Torte

chocolate Torte

Here’s the recipe for the chocolate torte mentioned in the recent Super Bowl blog post. Yup it’s made from chick peas, which gives it a rich dense texture while being relatively low in both fat and “bad” carbs.

You’ll see that this torte is simple to make. The one thing to make certain: when the mixture hits the processor/blender be sure that it purees to a smooth consistency; lumps and grittiness detract from the dense yummy-ness of this cake.

I”m sure you’ll enjoy this excellent dessert … or midnight snack …. or breakfast treat. You’re likely to forget that it’s good for you.

1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
2 cups (19-oz large can) chick peas (garbanzo beans), drained and rinsed
4 eggs (or 1 cup egg substitute)
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tablespoon powdered sugar

In a small bowl, melt chocolate (over water or in microwave) until smooth. In a blender or processor, combine beans and eggs. Add sugar,  baking powder, and melted chocolate until smooth.Pour into lined 9″ round cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until inserted knife comes out clean. Cool, and sprinkle with powdered sugar if desired.  Cut into 10 wedges. Top with raspberry sauce.

Raspberry Sauce
1/2 cup raspberry jam
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 pint fresh or frozen raspberries

Combine these ingredients by hand to desired consistency.

Per Wedge with Sauce:
318 calories
10 grams fat
56 grams carbohydrates
2.8 grams fiber
5.8 grams protein
116 mg sodium

Jeanne Fiorini TarotWorks http://www.tarotworks.comJeanne Fiorini loves chocolate. Period.
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Super Bowl Hangover

SuperBowlFoodLike most Americans, I watched the Super Bowl yesterday.

The whole thing was kind of a non-event since my Patriots weren’t in the show, but their absence from the festivities made me realize how most other football fans from the past decade have spent Super Bowl Sunday: having forgotten the fumbles, foibles, and troubles of the past 5 months and already setting sights and pinning hopes on “next year.”

We Patriot fans have been spoiled in this regard, but not this year.

We gathered nonetheless at my neighbor Margo’s house as we have all season long — me and Margo and one of Margo’s friends who still cannot believe she’s gotten sucked into the football vortex so late in life — for one last fix before the post-season doldrums set in.

Stockpiles of food and beer are requisite for a Super Bowl party, as if we were mounting a siege against Margo’s 55” TV screen in an epic battle of wills. But before halftime we already were laughing about the fact that most probably we were noshing on the most healthy Super Bowl buffet in the state of Maine, if not the entire Patriot Nation.

It began with fresh guacamole and corn tortillas … and gluten-free pretzels … and organic carrots and pea pods … and Nut Thin crackers (also gluten-free). After the appetizers came Margo’s homemade vegan broccoli soup accompanied by “chicken salad” from a local health food store. (One can only imagine what ingredients compromised that little delicacy.) The banquet was topped off with a flourless chocolate torte whose primary component was chick peas.

Hey don’t laugh! That stuff has 3 grams of fiber and 6 grams of protein, with only 10 grams of fat per slice. It’s chocolate, it’s good for you, and tastes yummy to boot. I’ll post the recipe if anyone’s interested.

I did maintain the traditional Sunday football custom and had a few beers during the first half of the game. Meanwhile, Suzanne sipped her spring water and Margo eventually made herself a cup of tea.

There were four beers in the fridge but I just couldn’t go there; turns out all that fiber is very filling.

So we hooted and hollered and commented on how nice men’s butts look in those black Raven spandex and wondered how Shannon Sharpe might look if he was somehow caught on camera in the shower — that’s what everyone else does, right?

I’m pretty sure, though, that we feel a lot better today than do most other folks who watched the same game.Super BwlCheese

But there’s always next year.

Jeanne Fiorini TarotWorks http://www.tarotworks.comJeanne Fiorini is a professional Tarot reader and teacher http://tarotworks.com , a personal organizer http://shesneat.com, and a rabid Patriots fan. Is she “diverse in her interests” or out of whack? You decide.