I don’t have a problem using the words of people wiser than me in order to make a point. Why try to say again what someone else has already articulated perfectly?
The “Meaning makes a great many things bearable” quote from Carl Jung cited in a previous blog is a good example of this habit.
Here’s one for today’s post, this one from Dr. Phil … oh come on, did I just hear some of you groan with disdain?
“You must be getting something out of the behavior or else you wouldn’t do it.”
Oh, how we love to disagree with this statement.
“What do you mean, I HAVE to keep this crappy job.”
“That’s not true, I just can’t get out of this marriage no matter how bad it gets.”
“I’d really like to lose weight but that bag of Oreo’s tasted so good.”
“I love to get organized but I just don’t have the time.”
We have to face the fact that Dr. Phil makes a true statement: there must be some reward for any behavior or we would surely find another option. The “reward” might be something important and useful, like security or self-protection or health insurance; or it could be something less positive in nature, such as the avoidance of responsibility or the denial of personal power.
Being disorganized is only a problem if it’s having a negative impact on one’s life. But if stress levels are high because of it, if time is wasted because of it, if relationships are challenged because of it, and if being disorganized hinders a person from getting where they want to be in life (both literally and figuratively), then it’s time to take stock of why the condition persists.
As Dr. Phil says, there must be a reason this is allowed to happen.
If being disorganized has become an issue in your life, ask yourself:
What am I getting out of staying disorganized?
What’s the payoff?
What is gained by keep clutter around, or by not organizing the closet, or by not dealing with that rising pile of papers, mail, and bills?
What do I think I’ll lose if I get this mess cleaned up?
Why do I keep the same systems of chaos in place?
What’s the reward here?
Sure, it’s going to be easier for some people to make changes toward being organized than for others. But any plan to “get organized” isn’t going to stick if the reward for staying dis-organized has not been recognized. Once the rewards of both options are recognized, creating space for what really matters in your life can take place.
Jeanne Fiorini can provide lots of good reasons to get organized! Visit the She’s Neat website or contact Jeanne at shesneat@myfairpoint.net.