It’s Me … No, It’s You

Some of life’s great truths are, by their very nature, enigmatic …
simple on the surface but complex underneath …
contradictory …
aggravating.

Here’s one I’ve been mulling over lately.

Life Truth #2849: It’s always about you and it’s never about you.

We all are familiar with, and some of us have probably implemented, the classic break-up line, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Whether it’s said to simply to soften the blow and whether or not we know it to be true, it is.

How could it be any different? Whose eyeballs do you look through each and every waking minute? Whose skin have you occupied for as many years as you’ve been on this earth? Whose thought patterns and belief systems have been built up inside you, over your entire existence, to such a degree that you believe them to be who you are?

You are the receptor for all the information that is in the universe. You are the satellite dish for all your experiences. Your physical body is the antenna and the mother board for all that surrounds you. And your mind is the computer program processing it all. To add an extra layer of complexity, much of this happens without your conscious permission or awareness.

Of course it’s about you!

And then there’s the opposite yet also-true side of the story: The Other. So many times lately I’ve observed how a person’s reaction to something (a story, a movie, a comment, an experience) says more about them than about the initiator of or the experience itself.

“She hurt my feelings when she said I looked tired.” Do you have expectations about how you need to look? Is being tired something you don’t allow yourself to feel … or show? Do you think the person was being critical of you when she said that? If so, why is that?

Another: “I caught Richard in a lie.” Are you looking for ways that people lie? Why are you so quick to believe someone is lying? Is telling lies something that is familiar to you? Do you think everyone lies?

Maybe this is why one of The Four Agreements is to not take anything personally.

Our reactions are never really about the experience itself, but our perception of that experience. In some ways we could say this is the simple difference between, “Isn’t wintertime wonderful?” and “Winter sucks.” (Those of us who live in the northeastern US have learned that we can’t take the weather personally.)

But on a deeper level, this is the conundrum with which quantum physics confronts us: the proven truth that the observer creates the reality. Without an observer there is no experience.  As “The Oracle” in The Matrix movies says, “That will really bake your noodle.”

As far as I can tell, there’s no resolving the ambiguity of this truth. This particular human quandary makes it essential that each one of us be responsible for our own *&%# as deliberately and intentionally as possible. We all must try our darndest to be honest, centered, present, and authentic.

And, in this computer’s opinion, that’s a lot.

Jeanne Fiorini is a human program navigating the ropes course of existence. Check out the TarotWorks website for tips on how the Tarot can help guide and support you along your personal trapeze act.

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The Tower Card’s “Plus One”

The Tarot’s Tower is a card that needs its “plus one” in order for its full meaning to emerge. As a single card all on its own, this image– no matter how forceful and dynamic — does not provide enough information to complete the sentence.

This card indicates sudden shifts in the status quo, perhaps unforeseen and shocking changes. But when The Tower card appears in a class discussion or in the context of a reading, I’m always going to be asking the question, “What is coming out of the Tower?”

Enter The Tower’s “Plus One.” The information this second card provides will tell us whether the shifting sands are busting us out of prison and lifting us onto a shiny new shore or plunging us into the depths of confusion and despair.

We’ve had to get used to the presence of Tower energy of late. I’m confident that there is not one among us who has not experienced radical changes, complex challenges, and unexpected shifts in life’s landscape during the past year or two.

From what I understand astrologically, November offers us another turn at bat with whatever is yet to be hit from the personal and collective ballpark.

Because I like my astrological forecasts clear and to the point, I’ve been following Carl Boudreau’s videos on YouTube. Invariably his words resound in my ears as I sit with people at the Tarot table, and I find his wise thoughts to be insightful and empowering.

Lucky me, I get to pass along this wisdom to my clients! Lucky clients, too, to benefit from Carl’s understanding of the Big Picture.

As we enter a new month, I’d like to pass along a single tidbit from Carl’s November forecast, a portion of his broadcast that rang through as a clear and present piece of guidance. Here it is, partially quoted directly and also lightly paraphrased:

People are going to be acting on the need for newer levels of personal freedom and self-expression. We’ll be asking for looser interpersonal bonds in order to achieve this different kind of relationship [with friends, lovers, relatives, co-workers]. We must stay away from abstract principles and dogma and instead, work things out afresh, concretely, in the face of new and emerging realities.

Apparently “Gimme Shelter” is out; “Gimme Space” is in.

As I understand it, this isn’t about jettisoning the people in your life and becoming an island unto yourself, but establishing a new sense of personhood, of individual freedom and choice.

No more “shoulds,”  or “need to do thus and so or so and so won’t like me anymore.” Whoa. Did some of you just start skipping around the room, or did you mutter “Oh crap.”

Apparently the Big U thinks we’re grown-up enough to cast off extrinsic behavioral guidelines and set our own parameters.

What do you think?

Jeanne Fiorini is a silly human trying to make sense of this existence. Visit the TarotWorks website to see all the ways the Tarot can help you make some sense of your existence.

 

Around The Bean Pole

Here’s a photo of the bean plant that grew in my garden this year. When posted on Facebook back in August, the caption was something like, “I get it now about Jack and that bean stalk.” Nine feet tall is a modest estimate, and you can see the tendrils attempting to reach even higher.

There are baggies of beans in the freezer and the thing is still producing fruit even though we’re now into the second week of October. Along with providing the daily requirements of Vitamins A, C, K, iron, and fiber, picking beans from this plant taught me something that I already knew but about which I apparently needed a reminder: It’s all about perspective.

From the kitchen window I see the beans hanging from the vines and think, “Oh, better go out and get those before they get too big and become tough and woody.” Out I go with a bowl to cull what might be ripe for the picking.

Round the pole we go, gathering beans up and down as we spin around the circumference of the beast. Retracing steps in the other direction, it’s amazing to find fat and ready beans that were missed first time around. What was under a leaf coming from the northwest corner is in full view from the southeast vantage point. What was “too far down and out of sight” is at eye level once you scootch yourself closer to the dirt.

Back around we go for a third time, invariably discovering more and more fruit that went unnoticed in previous passes. How did these go undetected? How could I have missed this one? Why didn’t I think to look at the very bottom of the plant, almost into the soil, where the vines are doing exactly what they’re doing at the top of the plant: stretching, reaching, sprouting, growing.

This is great news for the dinner table and the pantry, but for the reflective person I can’t help being, it brings up concerns about what else I may be missing, what else I am not seeing: work opportunities, potential friends and lovers, essential information regarding health and wellbeing, not to mention useful blog ideas and bargains at the grocery store.

The bean pole teaches me that the best I can do is to keep my eyes open and try to look at things from as many perspectives as possible. “Bend your neck, move your head, shift your posture, use your eyeballs to really see what is there, and not just perceive what you expect to see.”

That last one is the hardest of all. When I catch myself being guilt of this sin, of not seeing what is there because of what I expected to see instead, I say to myself, “Silly human.”

I doubt other animals do this to themselves; they don’t have the luxury of being able to misperceive reality.

A Libran Mantra

Last week was my 59th birthday.

Birthdays for me have always been a mixed bag of appreciation, wistfulness, and dread. This year was made worse by the fact of Saturn just finishing up its 2.5 year sit-in on my astrology chart, and Pluto and Uranus (those trouble-makers!) have been in there duking it out as well.

It’s been an intense period of questioning and self-reflection.

I’m pretty big on self-reflection and working things out on the inner level, but this last immersion has been much more than can be healthy for any sane human being. Here in early October, though,  things seem to be breaking and I do believe I see some slanting beams of sunshine emerging from the clouds off in the distance.

Sometime during this hiatus into Murkyville, words came to me that encapsulated my experience; not just the experience of the past few months, but of my whole life. I share them with you in hopes that something in there resonates for you and/or helps you at this time in your life.

I have to find the balance between being generous with you and being kind to myself.

Is that a Libran statement or what? I didn’t think it intentionally, it just appeared in my mind’s eye like a floating airplane banner coming into focus.

Work life, relationships, lovers, community, family, there is no area of my life to which this mantra does not apply. If I think about experiences in the past that have failed me, it’s because I didn’t do this balancing act at all well. And when things worked, it was because it all was somehow managed effectively.

This is my personal key to a happy life, I have no doubt about it.

It IS important for me to be generous with others, whether it’s regarding my time, energy, money, compassion, or the last beer in the fridge. But you know as well as I do that, especially for women, this generosity can bite us in the butt and leave us feeling drained and bitter.

Drained and bitter … UGH. Who really wants to live there? That’s worse than staking your tent in Murkyville.

So the dust is settling and I’ve now got words to guide my actions and choices through whatever lies ahead.  They are my new best friends. I invite you to use them in whatever way works for you.

I have to find the balance between being generous with you and being kind to myself.

 

Jeanne Fiorini offers Tarot readings and classes to help you find your place of balance. Visit the TarotWorks site to find your keys for a happy life.

 

 

 

CLIC Tarot Program Note for 8-8-12

This week’s guest on the CLIC Tarot radio show will be Toni Gilbert, holistic nurse, transpersonal psychology counselor, and author of “Gaining Archetypal Vision.”

 

Toni has tons of experience working with wellness counseling, guided imagery, art, psychology,  body/mind consciousness, Tarot, archetypes, healing, and personal potential.

WOW! Who knows where this conversation will lead!

Tune in this coming Wednesday for what promises to be a fascinating show.

Click on w4wn.com to listen in!

To Call into the show with questions, comments, or for on-air readings:

Skype in to w4wnradio or
telephone 561-422-4365

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