It’s Me … No, It’s You

Some of life’s great truths are, by their very nature, enigmatic …
simple on the surface but complex underneath …
contradictory …
aggravating.

Here’s one I’ve been mulling over lately.

Life Truth #2849: It’s always about you and it’s never about you.

We all are familiar with, and some of us have probably implemented, the classic break-up line, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Whether it’s said to simply to soften the blow and whether or not we know it to be true, it is.

How could it be any different? Whose eyeballs do you look through each and every waking minute? Whose skin have you occupied for as many years as you’ve been on this earth? Whose thought patterns and belief systems have been built up inside you, over your entire existence, to such a degree that you believe them to be who you are?

You are the receptor for all the information that is in the universe. You are the satellite dish for all your experiences. Your physical body is the antenna and the mother board for all that surrounds you. And your mind is the computer program processing it all. To add an extra layer of complexity, much of this happens without your conscious permission or awareness.

Of course it’s about you!

And then there’s the opposite yet also-true side of the story: The Other. So many times lately I’ve observed how a person’s reaction to something (a story, a movie, a comment, an experience) says more about them than about the initiator of or the experience itself.

“She hurt my feelings when she said I looked tired.” Do you have expectations about how you need to look? Is being tired something you don’t allow yourself to feel … or show? Do you think the person was being critical of you when she said that? If so, why is that?

Another: “I caught Richard in a lie.” Are you looking for ways that people lie? Why are you so quick to believe someone is lying? Is telling lies something that is familiar to you? Do you think everyone lies?

Maybe this is why one of The Four Agreements is to not take anything personally.

Our reactions are never really about the experience itself, but our perception of that experience. In some ways we could say this is the simple difference between, “Isn’t wintertime wonderful?” and “Winter sucks.” (Those of us who live in the northeastern US have learned that we can’t take the weather personally.)

But on a deeper level, this is the conundrum with which quantum physics confronts us: the proven truth that the observer creates the reality. Without an observer there is no experience.  As “The Oracle” in The Matrix movies says, “That will really bake your noodle.”

As far as I can tell, there’s no resolving the ambiguity of this truth. This particular human quandary makes it essential that each one of us be responsible for our own *&%# as deliberately and intentionally as possible. We all must try our darndest to be honest, centered, present, and authentic.

And, in this computer’s opinion, that’s a lot.

Jeanne Fiorini is a human program navigating the ropes course of existence. Check out the TarotWorks website for tips on how the Tarot can help guide and support you along your personal trapeze act.

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1 Comment

  1. Josephine Mori said,

    November 6, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    Brilliant observation, Jeanne…and lovin’ that mini-bio!


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